First Thoughts on Amsterdam (by Eleanor!)

It's hard to know where to begin. I didn't realize, until I scrolled down our blog today, that I hadn't written a post since the first week of the CELTA. Thanks, Mike, for keeping us up to date! But I'm sorry to those of you (mostly Dad) who were wondering what had happened to my voice on the blog. Things got really busy for a while, and I also was going through some pretty deep culture shock that made it hard to find motivation for anything beyond the course.

I'm feeling much better these days. As Mike said, the CELTA is finished and we both earned top marks. It feels good to have done what we came here to do, and to have done it well. I've started teaching part-time, and we've moved into a new apartment in a much more inspiring neighborhood. These things have helped me to reset my attitude about living here in Turkey.

Another thing that helped was the very special Christmas week Mike and I spent in Amsterdam. There's so much I want to say about the trip, that I think I'll break it up into a few posts. I hope I don't put you to sleep with it-- for me, it will be good to have a record of all the thoughts that flew through my head that week. Going there sort of snapped my brain back into focus, and I want to hang onto to that focus now that I'm back...

We were lucky to fly in on the day after a snowstorm in Holland. We missed the travel snarls, but still got to enjoy Amsterdam under a blanket of snow. The canals and side streets all had this hushed and misty quality that was immediately relaxing.

We spent that first afternoon wandering around without a destination. The whole city was lit up for Christmas. Each street had its own lighting theme, which made it easy to navigate. If we ever became lost, we turned a few corners and arrived back at a scheme we recognized.

When I walk around in Istanbul, I usually feel tense. It's crowded and the traffic is dangerous. There are bad smells and loud noises. To appreciate the beauty of one tiled wall, or flower covered balcony, or view of the Bosphorous, I have to screen out fifty other distractions. I know this is the wrong approach to enjoying the city. The people who really love it here are those who can appreciate the city as a whole-- who are energized by its commotion and rough-edgedness. I'm still searching for that ability in myself. I like things to be pretty and well-designed, and, yes, a bit safe. I think that's one of the reasons it's good for me to be here, stretching myself.

But as a vacation retreat, Amsterdam let me indulge in all the things I love. Everything-- from the people, to the scenery, to the food-- was pleasant. Every time I looked through a window into someone's apartment home, it was like looking into a design magazine photo shoot. Even in the snow, the whole city was still wheeling around on their bikes, toting children, groceries, art school portfolios. Every third door seemed to lead into a hole in the wall pub, decked in cedar swag, where it was impossible to buy a bad beer...

That first night, I didn't think I could go back. That instant feeling of comfort would be too hard to let go of. In the end, of course, I did. For all the grit in Istanbul, at least you can see what's really there. I'm sure that Amsterdam has grit (the red light district is probably a good place to start looking). And if it doesn't, that just means it's been pushed somewhere else. But at Christmas all of us try to create our own fantasy worlds, don't we? So, just for that week, I exhaled deeply and lived in mine.

Soon, I'll write a bit more about the other things we did. I especially want to get down some thoughts about the art we saw. I'll leave you with a few more photos from our walk on our fist evening in Amsterdam.

Take care everyone,
Eleanor